


We're Safe Now

by Scalpha



Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, comfort cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:35:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scalpha/pseuds/Scalpha
Summary: Kurisu decides to take a break from her paper and check by the Future Gadget Laboratory. There, she finds a sleeping Mad Scientist that must've forgotten to lock his door.Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to be sleeping too well...“Shhh…” she whispered, “it’s okay, Okabe. It’s okay. I’m here. Mayuri is alive. I’m alive. Everyone’s alive.” His sobs grew louder and his grip tightened. “It’s all over… we’re on the Steins;Gate worldline. No one has to suffer anymore.”Okabe Rintarou x Makise KurisuNightmare Fic, PTSD, Hurt and Comfort, LOTS of cuddles, fluff
Relationships: Okabe Rintarou | Hououin Kyouma/Makise Kurisu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	We're Safe Now

Kurisu couldn’t help but feel a little sleepy as she went up the stairs to the Future Gadget Laboratory. It was only 7 PM, but the paper that she’d been working on all day took not only a lot of time, but a lot of mental fortitude as well. After a solid six or so hours of work, she decided to go to the Lab to hopefully see some of the others there and socialize, but she figured she might as well buy some stuff to eat and drink on the way. Some cup ramen, some microwavable edibles, some pudding and some Doctor Pepper… for herself, of course, she nodded to herself. 

_‘I was just craving some Doctor Pepper because I miss the States! I did not buy it for Okabe whatsoever! He can beg as much he wants, I’m not gonna give him any…”_

Having been lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice that she already walked past the Lab and was approaching the roof at this point. Her face heated up, she hurried back down until she reached the apartment door, taking a moment to catch her breath. The door opened without any resistance, so either someone was inside… or Okabe just forgot to lock the door again. 

Unable to suppress the sigh that left her mouth, she entered the apartment. “Hello?” She called out, but no one responded. “Mayuri? Hashida? ...Okabe?”

Odd. Hashida and Mayuri should’ve still been around, and Okabe barely ever left the apartment to begin with, despite the fact that he still technically lived at his parents’ house. Was there really no one there?

With a huff, she kicked her boots off before moving further into the apartment. She was already preparing a long, scolding text message directed at Okabe’s lack of safety in her head; 

**_Kurigohan and Kamehameha (7:12PM):_ ** _Seriously, do you not worry about anyone breaking in?! Sure, the junk that you and that pervert Hashida make isn’t worth stealing, but that doesn’t excuse forgetting to lock the door!”._

And then a table flip kaomoji for good measure.

 **_Kurigohan and Kamehameha (7:13PM):_ ** _‘(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻.’_

Perfect.

“I guess I’ll leave some Doctor Pepper in his fridge,” she mumbled to herself. Wait, what was she saying? “U-uh! I mean, I can’t just drink this much on my own! I have to watch my figure! Right! Right. I’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart-”

Once, then twice, she blinked before fully processing the electric signals her eyes transmitted to her brain. Okabe was lying on the sofa, asleep… and still wearing his lab coat. The hand that wasn’t holding her bag quickly rushed up to cover her mouth, as though that would somehow undo the rather loud words she just spoke, but it didn’t seem like they disturbed his rest whatsoever.

“Jeez…” she palmed her head, _‘Thank God he didn’t hear that.’_

Gently, she sat down on the computer chair, setting the bag on the floor next to her. For some reason, she couldn’t help but smile softly as she gazed at the sleeping Mad Scientist, though part of her was surprised that he didn’t keep his delusional ramblings up even when he was asleep... A much bigger part, however, was glad for it.

Though she would never admit it, she was concerned about his sleeping habits; he’d been texting her rather frequently when she was in New York, and considering the huge time difference between the two megacities… He was up until 3, or even 4 in the morning quite often. Perhaps naps were a more common occurrence for him? Long naps complicate sleep at night, and since his sleep schedule had already been a mess, she should really wake him up... right?

Thus, she made her way from the rather comfortable computer chair to the sofa, looking down on the dozing chuunibyou. How he was able to sleep without a blanket was still a mystery to her; no matter how hot the summers got, she could _not_ sleep without her trusty blanky. 

As she kneeled down to get a better look at him, she realized that she couldn’t bring herself to wake him up. He looked so peaceful, he looked like _Okabe_ , not Kyouma. And while she had grown used to the Mad Scientist by now, it was always a pleasure for her to see him be the tender, caring college student that he was beneath that facade. It reminded her of why she… she…

For some reason, the genius girl couldn’t help but soften up. It was as though she could feel her heart melt, she felt so… tender. Her smile widened more and more as she leaned against the sofa. Her heart sped up a bit as she realized how close she was, but saying that she minded would’ve been a lie. At least she could be honest to herself in her head without worrying about Okabe teasing her.

Seeing Okabe like this reminded her of why she _loved_ him. It reminded her that he gave her what she always needed… love. The feeling that she belonged. Though she could feel heat rush to her face, she was well aware that her embarrassment was silly; he loved her, and she returned his feelings. She fell for him so long ago, it felt like it’d been more than an entire lifetime.

And perhaps it _had_ been longer than that. Her memories of other world lines, the ones that ever so often found their way into her dreams– both the good and the bad, sadly– were proof of that. But of course those memories weren’t the only reasons why she fell for him. Okabe kept the promise he made to her all that time ago, in California. 

Remembering said promise, she couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed at the sheer corniness of it. _“The past doesn’t matter, for I, Hououin Kyouma, promise to create many, many more memories with you! Memories that the other world lines couldn’t even begin to compare to!”_

Her lips curled into a pout, her thoughts trailing off. _‘Seriously Okabe… you’re the flirt here, yet you still make fun of me! One day, I’m gonna figure out how that stupid, smooth brain of yours works.’_

As if on cue, his brows furrowed and he turned around to face her, causing Kurisu to flinch. “Shit,” she hissed quietly, scrambling away… but as it appears, that was completely unnecessary. His eyes were still completely shut, after all. She breathed a sigh of relief before noticing that he started grumbling in his sleep. Was he trying to defend himself even while he was unconscious? Placing her hands on her hips, she shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’ll never change, not even when you’re asleep.”

 _‘Well,’_ she thought as she stretched her arms, _‘enough of that! I’ll just put the bottles in the fridge and then make my way to the hotel, I guess. It’s a shame that no one else is here...’_

The fridge was pretty much empty, with the exception of a couple of condiments, some yogurt and other snacks, as one might have expected. Surprisingly enough though, there was no more Doctor P to be seen. _‘He drank it all, didn’t he?’_ She rolled her eyes.

After putting the two bottles in the fridge, she was all set and ready to leave. Just as she was about to put on her boots, though…

“Kurisu…”

Did she just hear her name? She pondered for a moment. _‘Crap,’_ she thought, _‘did Okabe wake up…? Damnit, what do I do?! Hide? Run away? Commit-’_

His breathing tore her from her thoughts- when did it get so loud? At this point, it sounded more like panting than anything else, like he just ran a marathon. Concern washed over her– what was happening?

“Aah…” Okabe’s voice was gravelly as he let out a quiet, strained sound. “Aaah…”

For some reason, Kurisu was scared. She fumbled with her boot, taking what felt like an eternity to take it off, and swallowed heavily. Step by step, she shuffled back into the apartment, Okabe’s vocalizations growing louder and louder, taking less time between each cry. It sounded like he was being tortured... And when she entered the room, it looked like it too. His body was glistening with sweat as he clenched his abdomen, a pained look on his face. At this point, his cries sounded absolutely terrifying, filled with despair and regret, piercing her ears.

She dashed to his side and grabbed him by his shoulders, trying to steady him, but to no avail. The whimpers slowly turned into words– no, a name–

“Ma...yuri… Ma...”

...Fear gripped her heart like a vice just _thinking_ about what he was dreaming. While he refused to ever give her specifics, and she refused to push him for any, Kurisu was very well aware that Okabe must’ve gone through _immense_ trauma trying to save Mayuri… and herself. It was clear in the way he acted in certain situations, clear in the way he talked about it. She knew that waking someone from a nightmare was ill advised, but she simply couldn’t contain her desire to help him. She softly spoke his name and nudged him gently, trying not to trigger his fight or flight reflex.

“Okabe… Okabe, wake up…” Holding herself back from yelling was incredibly hard. She was scared to see Okabe like this, but the main priority was waking him up and avoiding him somehow hurting himself. She continued to gently shake him, biting down on her lip to keep her voice down. “Okabe, you have to wake up… Okabe…!”

His breathing turned shallow and he started gasping for air. It sounded like no matter how much he breathed in, none of the oxygen wanted to enter his lungs, so he just continued to breathe and breathe… Until suddenly, he let out a piercing scream as he jolted awake. A scream filled with real despair, real pain, real fear, one so filled with it, that Kurisu herself could feel it, too.

Breathing still hitched, he tightly grabbed his stomach with a look of sheer terror in his eyes. His body was struggling to catch up, his throat stuck between breathing, coughing, and whimpering, his body shaking intensely, looking as though he was freezing. Kurisu realized all too quickly what was happening; Okabe was having a panic attack.

“Okabe! Okabe, calm down!” She cried out, putting her hands on his and looking at him. Slowly, his eyes found their way to hers, and his breathing began to speed up again. Small beads of tears formed in the corners of his eyes.

“Ku…” was all he could force out, before hitching on his breath again. She held his gaze, never wavering for a second as she tried to compose herself.

“It’s okay, Okabe. I’m here for you. Breathe, okay? Breathe with me. In…” She took a long breath in, and the crying man did his best to follow along, to no avail. Gently, Kurisu rubbed the back of his hand with hers, whispering quiet affirmations. “It’s okay, just do your best to follow along, alright? In… Hold it… Out-”

No longer could he hold it in. He wrapped his arms around her, drowning his wails in the crook of her neck, his tears flowing freely. “Aah… Ahhh…”

Surprised by the sudden embrace, it took Kurisu a moment to process the situation. But once she realized what happened, she wrapped her arms around his back, rubbing circles on it. “Shhh…” she whispered, “it’s okay, Okabe. It’s okay. I’m here. Mayuri is alive. I’m alive. Everyone’s alive.” His sobs grew louder and his grip tightened. “It’s all over… we’re on the Steins;Gate worldline. No one has to suffer anymore.”

He continued to cry, and she continued to comfort him for a good few minutes until Okabe was able to speak again. “I’m… sorry.” Holding her much gentler now, he barely managed to choke those two words out.

“It’s okay… I have them too. Nightmares about other world lines. I can’t even begin to imagine how awful they must be for you, since you… have _all_ of those memories.” He didn’t respond, but he didn’t need to. “Why didn’t you tell me? Is this why you were always up so late?”

Again, no response. Kurisu wasn’t sure if she should keep pressing the matter… but she had to know. For once, not as a scientist, but as _his girlfriend_. “Please, Okabe. Tell me.”

As he inhaled, she could hear that he was shaking again. She moved her hand to his hair and started gently brushing through it. His voice was barely audible as he responded. “...Yes.” 

She tightened the embrace. “Oh, Okabe… why didn’t you say anything?” It was a rhetorical question– she was well aware why. He didn’t want her to worry about it, didn’t want any of his loved ones to worry about it… That was the kind of person that Okabe Rintarou was.

“Why… are you here?” Ah, right. She’d completely forgotten that she pretty much just broke into his apartment.

“U-uh… This isn’t about me! We can talk about that later.” A valiant effort at changing the topic. “Anyway, can I get you anything? Water? Tissues? Do you have medication?” He shook his head silently. “C’mon Okabe, you need to at least drink something. You’re drenched in sweat and tears, you must be incredibly dehydrated!”

A long sigh left his mouth. He knew she was right, like always. His voice was raspy as he responded, like he had just risen from his grave. “It’s alright. I can get it mysel-”

“Nope. No chance. You’re gonna sit for a second and wait, okay? You’re in no state to stand up.” He grumbled in response, but definitely did _not_ have the strength to argue at the moment. Still, as she stood up, the man instinctively clutched her jacket. He had trouble bringing himself to let go, Kurisu noticed. She felt a bit faint. “O-Okabe… You can, uh, let go, you know?”

He flinched when he realized that he was still clinging on to her. “A-ah… Sorry.” He pulled back and wiped the sweat from his forehead using his labcoat sleeve.

Less than a minute later, she came back with a glass filled with tap water and handed it to Okabe, who took a long sip, downing the entire glass in one go. Smiling satisfied, she took the empty glass and went back to the sink to re-fill it. “I told you. You might not realize it right away, but panic attacks dehydrate you for many reasons. Mouth breathing, sweating and crying to name a few.”  
“I’m a mouth breather?” Okabe let out a sad chuckle.

Giggling softly, she turned the faucet off and made her way back to Okabe. “You know what I meant.” She handed him the glass and looked him in the eyes, a sad expression having found its place on her face. “Are you feeling a bit better? A bit more like the Mad Scientist, Hououin Kyouma?”

Okabe smiled warmly, though remnants of sadness still shined through. “Foolish Christina. Hououin Kyouma was never gone.”

“I retract the latter question. I’d like Okabe Rintarou back, please.” She couldn’t help but palm her face.

After a couple of seconds spent in silence, except for the occasional gulp as Okabe drank from the glass, she looked back at him again. He looked so tired. So exhausted. She desperately wished that there was any way she could help him, rid him of the trauma that must be tormenting him. “Do you want to talk about the dream, Okabe?”

As he heard the words, his eyes widened, fixated at the glass of water in his hands. “I…” He tried to respond but it was clear he didn’t know what he wanted to say.

Noticing that he was trembling, Kurisu gently placed her small, right hand on his arm and looked at him. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to… but I want you to know that I’m here for you, like you were for me.” Noticing that he tried to avert his gaze, she moved closer. “Hey, Okabe… look me in the eyes.”

Once more, his eyes met hers, horrified. She boldly moved her hand up to his cheek, well aware that this was no time to be shy. The words she spoke were filled with conviction, yet soft and reassuring. “Trauma is a serious matter. I know that you went through a lot… I know that you went through so, so much pain, trying to find the Steins;Gate world line… I know that you went through all that pain to save Mayuri-- and to save _me._ Please, don’t think that you can’t or shouldn’t open up to me. I want to be there for you. I want to help you, like I did in all those previous world lines. You aren’t alone.”

“Kurisu…” This time, no tears left his eyes. Whether that was because he’d run out of them, or because he didn’t want her to see him cry again didn’t matter. As he moved his hand up, it shook gently, until it met hers on his cheek, holding it closer to himself. “Thank you… Thank you so much.”

“Of course, Okabe.” She said as she moved in and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“...I really missed hugging you, Kurisu.”

Though he whispered, Kurisu still had no trouble hearing his tender words. Flustered, she grumbled for a few seconds before responding. “I… I m-missed it too.” It was still so hard for her to say such things, but she couldn’t deny that she felt a warm, tender feeling in her chest as she said it. “D-do you think you wanna go back to sleep? You must be exhausted, right?”

“No,” his response was almost instantaneous, “I think I’d prefer to stay like this for a while longer. If… you don’t mind, that is.”

It took her a moment to reply, since her response required quite an amount of courage. After a few moments though, she attempted to choke the words out. “I… You, uh…” ‘ _Okay’,_ she thought to herself, ‘ _deep breaths’._ “H-holding someone else while sleeping causes the brain to produce more oxytocin, which not only makes sleeping easier, but also steadies one's heart rate and relieves pain! In addition to that, it also boosts your immune system, and I- I don’t want to get sick while I’m in Japan, you know-”

“You… want to cuddle?” The Mad Scientist paraphrased eloquently, a surprised expression on his face. Kurisu flinched.

“I… I don’t want to, I just thought it might be beneficial for both of us, you know?” She looked away, aware that her face must’ve been as red as her hair. It was going to be stuck like that for the rest of the night, wasn’t it?

Okabe smiled softly. “Well… If the girl genius prodigy Makise Kurisu says so, who am I to disagree?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you liked my new fic! This one's a lot longer than usual, but I think I did pretty decent. It was nice to write Kurisu comforting Okabe!!  
> I hope you enjoyed this fic and a huge thank you to my girlfriend for helping me out!


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